✔How waking up hungry at 2am gave me a reality check

📌How waking up hungry at 2am gave me a reality check:

One night last week about 2am I woke up hungry. So, I quietly got up and make me something totally unhealthy and fattening. Still confused by why I was so hungry it woke me up until I replayed the day in my mind.

I was running behind that previous day. I was rushed getting my son on the school bus. I always double-check everything before he leaves. Snack money, signing and returning all papers, making sure he eat, brushed his teeth, etc. Most mornings I get up early enough to have breakfast with him. This morning I didn’t get to sit down. I then make my ol’ man’s lunch and get him set for work.

I sit down for a minute trying to clear my head from the rushing all morning. Only to see 4 little eyes begging for my attention from across the room. My 2 loveable ferrets wants to play. I get them out and we play in the floor for a while. If anyone has ever dealt with ferrets you know they are some nasty creatures sometimes. Lol. So, I spent the next 30 minutes cleaning their cage, feeding, watering and of course loving on them. Then I hear a scratch and meow at the door. The cat has done made himself hungry by chasing birds all morning. I go feed him in the laundry room only to see piles of dirty laundry. Figured I would start the laundry while I was already in there. As I’m finishing up the laundry I hear a bloody murder scream. *sigh*

My diva 2-year-old is awake and she’s grumpy. She’s demanding Mikey mouse and milk. *sigh again* lovely I just poured her the last glass of milk. I’ll have to go grocery shopping. I get her calmed down set her in front of the TV with her breakfast so I can get dressed.

Standing in front of the mirror, pulling my hair back I tell myself I don’t really need makeup on today. The lovely shade of dark bags compliments my green eyes. (OK I was just too lazy to care) I go to put my socks on and realized they didn’t match at all, got another pair out of my dresser and they didn’t match either. *facepalm* I remembered or let the Diva toddler help me match sock the week before.

Finally I’m sorta ready and by sorta I actually mean I look homeless. Convincing my daughter to leave the house is harder than it should be. She would rather stay in her undies in front of the TV all day. Getting her dressed is a whole different world. Seriously takes almost an hour sometimes. (I can write a book about how complicated this girl child is)

In the car we ONLY listen to the Frozen sound track. I can probably sing you every word to every song in the movie by this point. I even have a Olaf night-gown. Attractive right? (That’s a whole different story too lol)

We get to the grocery store and then I remembered I forgot the list I made the day before. I didn’t wanna have to come back again this week so I ended up filling the buggy full. A bunch of junk we didn’t need but to keep the girl child from screaming the whole time, I negotiated with her A LOT. Everyone knows the grocery process. Put the groceries on the counter, put them back in the buggy, take them to the car.

Seriously?! It’s POURING down rain. My girl child has horrible eczema (Phew that’s a different story too) so her getting rained on is not good. I take my phone out to see what time it was. CRAP! It’s almost time for my son to get off the bus. I run through the rain, buckle the Diva in, throw my groceries in the trunk and jump in the car.

I’m soaked and not the Diva is crying because she’s wet. Rushed home in perfect time to get my son off the bus. At this moment I thanked god for my car port. My first priority was getting the diva out of the wet clothes and calm her crying. I realized half way through walking across my house that my shoes was so full of water that I was leaving puddles behind. *sigh*

I’m exhausted but I have to get the groceries unloaded and put up. I pick up the pace on putting away the groceries because the kicks want a snack. Almost done and my phone rings… Ugh It’s my mother in law. I can barely hear her over the kids arguing because the boy kid told the girl kid she had a booger and she didn’t believe him. I just kept agreeing to whatever she was telling me trying to hurry the call up. She eventually told me she would call back later.

I got the kids snacks fixed and remembered I still had laundry in the washer.  I went and turned the washer on again to rewash them. I noticed the garbage can over flowing and then remembered that we forgot to take the trash to the road for pickup. I have bags of garbage every where. All the cans is full, I have bags under my car port that the opossums have done tore open, I have bags in my laundry room. In defeat I sling another bag out the door.

It’s now homework time. We get homework done and I now have to start supper. I start getting out everything for fried chicken. I forgot to get chicken. Looks like we will have waffles, eggs and bacon then. The girl child has done spilt her juice all over her. It’s close enough to get bath time anyways. Get her fixed up in the bath and go back to start supper again. 3 minutes later she comes strolling down the hall soaking wet. I get her dry and get her cream rubbed on her. I follow the water trail back to the bathroom, cleaning it up while I go. I then see in those 3 short minutes she had dumped almost all her bath water into the floor.

I hear a crash in the hall. CRAP I must have missed a water puddle. The girl child had slipped and now screaming. Picked her up and with my feet start drying up all the water with clean towels. I smelt something burning. CRAP AGAIN. I’m burning the bacon. I run to the kitchen and save the bacon just in time. The diva is now over tired and doesn’t want me to put her down. I throw and towel over her back so nothing can splatter on her while I finish supper.

My phone goes off. It’s my ol’ man telling me he’s on his way. CRAP, CRAP, CRAP. I have 20 minutes until he’s sitting at the table waiting. I know he’s hungry because I didn’t send him much lunch that day and he’s been at work for 10 hours. With a 36pd toddler laying on my shoulder I rush to get supper cooked. Ugh the table is full of randm stuff. My sink in full of dirty dishes and there is no clean forks.

My son seen the frustration on my face and volunteered to clean off the table for me. He moves everything to the counter but at least we can eat now.

I bribe the Diva with and popsicle so I can put her down because my nerves in my arm was killing me. The boy child needs a bath but agrees to a quick shower. I get him set up in the bathroom and hear the ol’ man walk through the  front door. I’m working on getting everything on the table when I hear the boy child scream for me. Soap in the pee pee hole. I talk him through the steps to make it stop hurting. He’s done, getting out and grumpy at this point.

I hear “Dear, I’m awfully hungry.” I felt guilty because I knew he was. I pull his waffle off the cooker, put the syrup in the microwave, pour everyone something to drink and finally everything is done. We can eat now.

CRAP the bacon in now cold. So, I stick it in the microwave. I assist the kids in cutting their waffle and pouring the syrup. FINALLY everyone is eating.

LAUNDRY. I HAVE to do it. I go move the laundry to the dryer. I hear “Momma, I want more eggs” Back to the kitchen i go. I make his eggs and then clean out the ol’ man’s lunch box.

Phone rings again. Mother in law again. Apparently I agreed to take her a pack of cigarettes to her earlier. Dang, I feel horrible now. She assured me it was fine and laughed it off because she made her husband go get them.

Hearing the dryer cut off made me look into the laundry room to see the Diva with the poop scoop dumping cat litter into the cats food and water bowl. I felt like waving the white flag in defeat.

Almost in tears from the stress i go clean up the cat litter, put the cat fresh water and food down and open the dryer. First thing that falls out is a piece of paper.

 

I close my eyes fighting tears and take a deep breathe. I can do this. Just 15 minutes before bed. I open my eyes and sure enough shredded paper was clinging to all the clothes. I shook off the clothes and put them back in the washer.

I pass through the kitchen long enough to throw the butter back in the fridge. BEDTIME I yell almost breaking into a happy dance. The boy jumps under his cover and settles in. The girl child is sitting on the potty trying to poop but she’s bored and can’t sit still till she’s completely done. Oh wonderful poop balls down my hallway now. Chase her down, wipe her butt, clean up the poop balls, empty the potty…

Can I happy dance now? Is it Really bed time? I hear the girl child “Momma?! My bed dirty.” Chips. I gave her a bag of chips earlier and she apparently had a party with them. I get it cleaned, she’s tucked in bed, I tell them both I love them and goodnight.

I walk back to the kitchen feeling overwhelmed and realize I’m too tired to do a happy dance. I just want a hot bath. I check all the doors to make sure they are locked, get my clothes, empty out the tub full of toys, start running my water.

Wait…. I used all the clean towel to clean up the water. *sigh* I turn the water off and put on my pajamas. As I’m passing my daughter’s room I glance in and see she has snuck to the refrigerator and had 5 yoohoos on her nigh stand. All already opened with straws in them. I take 4 and put them back in the fridge.

I am so ready for bed. I go plop down in bed beside the ol’ man and breath a sigh of relief. It was almost painful to make my back relax. I wanted silence and darkness. The ol’ man wanted to watch TV and talk about our days. *sigh* I have missed him so much. So, I prop myself up and enjoy spending a few hours with my best friend.

The girl child is still fighting sleep the whole time so I’m getting up and down to put her back in bed. She’s finally asleep, the boy child is snoring loudly, and the ol’ man just turned off the tv. Finally, I can sleep….

45 minutes later I wake up to a leg cramp. I walk it off and take some Tylenol. I lay back down and cuddle up to the ol’ man.

I woke up a few hours later so hungry it hurt. My mouth was so dry it felt my skin might crack. I force myself out of bed once again.

Well, that’s why I’m starving. I haven’t eaten a single bite today. The only drink I had was a few sips out of the girl child’s juice so she didn’t squirt herself in the face with it.

I take another bite of my peanut butter cracker and I see a clean plate in the mess of the aftermath of supper. A napkin folding up in the plate with a folk on top. Beside it was a glass of water which I later found out started out with being ice. My son had set me a place for supper.

My heart started breaking. I look around me. It’s a complete disaster but I look back at that clean plate. I asked myself “what else did I miss today?” I look around for clues.

My girl’s supper plate was nearly empty. I didn’t tell her good job. My son had emptied his supper plate and set it with the mountains of dishes by the sink. I didn’t tell him thank you.

I see a notebook on the couch that my son was drawing in. The page was covered in hearts and had his name and mine on it. Was I too busy for him to give it to me or did I ignore him when he tried?

 

I looked at everything on my very nasty floor. (White tile is impossible to keep clean) I see strawberry  milk spatters everywhere. Oh that’s right! My diva child was dancing with a sippy cup earlier. I just glanced tho. She was yelling for me to watch her. I didn’t watch. I wonder what she was doing? I bet it was adorable.

I see a stack of papers on the counter. It was some of the boy’s finished kindergarten work. Every sheet is done perfect. He’s so good in school. He tried to hand me something earlier and I blankly took it. I didn’t tell him how proud I was.  I didn’t make it a big dance party to celebrate his grades like I normally do.

I see a dollar general bag on the back of the ol’ man’s chair. It’s b12 energy shots. I must have been short with him on his lunch breaks today and told him it was a bad day.  He must have stopped and picked them up for me the next day. I didn’t tell him how thankful I was for him.

I wondered why I can’t shred this weight when I never eat and go all day long. Google answered this one. I have destroyed my metabolism. I eat junk cause its fast.

I finally got the hungry pains to stop and felt almost normal again. I then bowed my head and thanked god for my extremely messy house, the dirty floors and my wonderful family that watches me on my bad days and still loves me through it. I was about to go back to bed when I remembered that dang load of laundry!

 

Every parent is going to have bad days. We just have to remember that while we are trying to be super woman, we are damaging our bodies from neglecting our needs and we also miss a lot of memories.

Let the house be dirty, let supper be late sometimes, let the kids skip a bath every once in a while. That task you think has to be done right away can wait for you. I know one day my house will be silent and spotless. I’ll miss these days and I don’t want to look back and wonder what I missed. I don’t want my kids to look back and remember how stressed I was because they might feel guilty thinking it was their fault.

I have to put love and happiness before chores and task. I have to take care of my body so I can one day be old enough to remember the good times. This is what I learned from waking up hungry at 2am.