I broke up with Facebook several months ago. It’s made me come to some harsh realizations but I never imagined I would be left out of the loop from some beer virus I had never heard of. Here’s how my world got turned upside down…
I was getting ready for a doctors appointment when my Mom send a group text to my sisters in I that said “The Coronavirus is in Alabama they saying get food in your house for 4 weeks and get shit paper too lmao”. I thought it was a joke. I stopped at the Dollar General to grab some bandaids. 3 people in line with me was buying a lot of toilet paper. One guy said “In the army we wiped out butts with out hands and splashed some water on it.” Everyone laughed. I thought it was just a coincidence they was all buying toilet paper at the same time and one made a joke about it.
I left without thinking twice about it. On the way to my doctors appointment I received a text from Eric saying “My (music) show just got cancelled tonight due to the Coronavirus.” Ummm what? Following that my sister had replied in the group text saying “I’m gunna have to go fight someone at Walmart to get toilet paper because I’m out.” I’m confused now. I pulled into the parking lot as Eric and the group text was telling me about it. I still believe they are all messing with me. It can’t be true. As I’m walking into the building I receive a message saying all school activities have been cancelled. WTF HAVE I MISSED?!?! I got to the waiting room and to my surprise it was COMPLETELY EMPTY! Every time I have ever been to this doctor it has been absolutely PACKED! My mind is spinning out of control! As I’m signing in at the computer thingys I looked up and saw the desk workers wearing mask. Omg I’m gunna die. Should I be wearing a mask? I’m never drinking bear again. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? I’ve lost my damn mind I thought to myself. This is one messed up dream.
I hesitatingly went on with my doctors appointment pretending that it was totally normal for them all to be wearing mask. They was acting normal and I wanted to at least blend in… without a mask. Is it me? Am I the one with this beer virus? Damn this dream keeps getting weirder. Is hasmat about to bust in here with there white suits and take me away? Or is it going to be the men with a straight jacket? I need TF out of here!
I get back home and start doing my own research. It’s not a dream. It’s not me, the men in the white suits aren’t coming. Everything was on Facebook. I missed EVERYTHING due to leaving my toxic relationship with Facebook. The world literally revolves around Facebook. Y’all could have warned a sister! I bought butt cleaning paper the day before and I ain’t sharing!
My spam friends got my back though! (See screenshot below).
BaHaBritter 