Let us recall the first night we brought you home from the hospital. Everyone couldn’t stop smiling at you! Well, except your mother, but that was solely because of the pain medicine. 2 1/2 years later your mother might need medicine and possibly a padded room as well.
Think back when your parents were excited about you try new food? It was so cute when you made a mess learning to feed yourself. Right away, your parents are finding more food hiding in your toys than you probably put in your mouth. Heck, you probably eat more boogers than real food.
Remember when everyone would laugh at your smelly diapers? People poked fun at each other on who was going to change your diaper. These days the only one laughing is you, while you chase your father around the household with a potty chair full of poop.
Momma does not mind to wipe your butt, but could you not come stand in front of her pulling your butt cheeks apart demanding to be wiped? It would be simple to just yell at her besisevereing out of the bathroom while poop is still falling out your rear end. Despite how funny you think it is, Momma doesn’t like cleaning poop off the floor.
Remember when everyone couldn’t wait for you to begin talking? Those first words were exciting! These days you make up words that I’m sure is not even in the English dictionary. Then you get mad because no one understands you. We are truly sorry that you are creating a new language and you are the ONLY one in the universe that knows it.
We remember taking you in public when you were an infant. If you cried the strangers would just smile and say cute things like “oh, someone must be hungry” or “That’s A big scream for such a small precious baby.” Ohhhhh but these days when we take you in public and you start screaming, strangers will tilt their head to the side and wonder who is abusing you. We are sorry that we won’t buy you Frozen themed yogurt because you absolutely hate yogurt.
Remember how everyone laughed when you ran around naked when you first took up walking? Yea, we are pretty sure its calling indecent exposure now. Trust us, you are not dying because you have to wear clothes in public. One day if you prefer to be a nudist, we will support you, but until then could we try to keep your parents out of jail?
Recall when you didn’t care what was on TV as long as it was bright colors? Could we go back to that? Paw Patrol OVER AND OVER, EVERY MINUTE OR EVERY DAY is driving your parents insane. We are sorry they have commercials. Must you cry during every commercial until it comes back on? We actually enjoy commercials since we know every word to every episode of paw patrol ever made. Just let us peacefully watch them!
You usually always fell asleep in your car seat when we went somewhere. What we would give for you to sleep nowadays! We are sorry that you demanded to put your sippy cup in the trunk before we was allowed to leave home and now you want us to pull over going down the highway to get it.
The toddler years are severely! On the bright side, at least we now can record these terrible years and remind you when you’re a teenager on how you drove us crazy. Perhaps then you will go easy on us because we all are dreading them teenage years.
Dedicated to my beautiful, silly, whiny, unstable toddler.
BaHaBritter 